Friday, April 6, 2012

Confessions of a mama: fears for 2 under 2. (guest post)


'Caleb' two years ago from my current due date.
Hello again from TX! It’s the Artsy Wife here of the Artsy Family. If you ever check my blog you’ll notice I’m terrible at updating, but when I do update I promise they’re decent. I think. Usually.

I’m now in my 3rd Trimester of my pregnancy with baby #2, our sweet girl! I am so excited to finally be at this milestone, yet at the same time I’m internally freaking out. I kind of freak out on and off since I got that positive pee stick back in October, but now that the date is nearly upon us, it is really sinking in. We won’t just have one child to care for. There will be two. Under two. Ok, so I don’t have it that bad since Caleb will only be a month away from his 2nd birthday when little lady arrives on the scene, but still. Has anyone heard anything good about the Twos? Umm, notsomuch no.

Sometimes my freak outs are about logistical things like getting them both in the car, quickly and safely. Or how to manage an infant carrier and a 2 yr old on the stairs since our apartment is on the second floor and I have a hard time hoisting that seat empty, much less with a baby in it, a toddler in tow, and on concrete stairs (what were we thinking?!). Other times I freak out thinking I will never be able to devote enough time and attention to both of my kids. Sure, I am blessed to be a Stay At Home Mom, but I also have things to do like cleaning and laundry, running my Etsy shop, taking care of my own health needs like exercise/hygiene and I KNOW how hard any one of those things is along with a newborn. Factor in newborn and a 2 year old. Ummm, crap. At least I’ll sleep hard when I sleep, right?, because I’m going to be ex-haust-ed.

I rarely freak out about the money, at least right at first. We plan to cloth diaper from the start this time, saving a bundle right there. I am also hoping to find success again with breastfeeding, another cost-saver in addition to the bazillion other benefits nursing offers. Sure at some point she’ll need more clothes, shoes, solid foods, but at least generally speaking those costs won’t start hitting for at least 6 months or so. We do have to get a larger car and while we are getting used and keeping it affordable, we will likely still have a chunk financed for a different vehicle after selling my car. It’ll be a low payment but on a shoestring budget any car payment is not something Zach or I are really looking forward to. Such is life though. We are left with little choice if we all 4 want to go somewhere together. Plus, this momma is pretty tired of sitting in the glove box during family outings in the car.

I’m sure a lot of these fears and anxieties will disappear when we meet our precious baby girl. Ok, I’m not sure but I’m praying like mad they do! I also know, just like each time something comes up that is worrisome, that God is in control and He will provide, even at the last minute and in unexpected ways. I try to take comfort in that when I have my moments of sanity between the hormonal breakdowns. I swear, something about having a girl has made me 10x more emotional than with Caleb. Must be all the extra extra female hormones buzzing around in there. But back to the topic at hand. 2 under 2 fears or even just having two kids period fears are apparently pretty common and entirely normal. Most parents struggle with how to love another child as much, how to provide for them, and just how it will change the family dynamic in general. Deciding to go for a second child is definitely something that requires just as much consideration as that leap to have the first and I’d say it is vital that both parents are on the same page. It doesn’t mean you’ll both be on the same page 24/7 but at least most of the time. It is nice when your spouse can be sane during your freak outs and vice versa.

Are you thinking about making that leap into baby #2 or even 3? What scares or worries you the most about adding another little person to your family? Share with the class. Half of us are probably thinking the exact same thing.

3 comments :

  1. I have two little guys who are just under 14 months apart. When my second son was born, my oldest could not walk yet! The first few months were very stressful for me as a stay at home mom. It was hard to get up during the night with a newborn and then chase around a toddler all day without the luxury of a nap. Now they are 2 and 1, and things are easier in some ways but harder in some too. I get SO much more sleep and they're on the same nap schedule (I admit, I made that happen for my own sanity) so I get some me-time also. It is harder though because now that they're both walking, I am running two different directions at the playground, and dealing with two tantrums. We didn't worry about cost of a second kid because we cloth diaper and make our own baby food, and because they have been able to share clothes. Having 2 under 2 is quite a handful, but totally worth it! It is so much fun to have my boys participate in the same activities and teach them things at the same time. I'm hoping that they'll grow up to be best friends.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh man, I totally get that fear. We thought we timed it just right, waiting until our first was 18 months old before we started trying for #2. But then I got pregnant RIGHT AWAY. And with twins. 0_0 The 3 under 3 was rather trying at times, but it really is fun having the kids so close in age. They play together all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Take a deep breath & above all, DON'T panic!!! My 2 were 18 months apart - so I had an 18-month-old & a newborn, and a 2-month old Brittany Spaniel puppy @ home by myself most of the day out in the country w/about 2 neighbors!!! You can do it, & you'll be great - & someday YOU'll be telling a young Mother that SHE will survive!!! (Incidently - my 2 are 35 & 33 1/2 now, & doing fine!!!)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment love!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...