How I Rock My Marriage: Libby (me!)

I decided that since the hubs is off in Texas, I'd take the opportunity to tell you how we're rockin' it long distance.  I'm not gonna lie, it hasn't been all unicorns and rainbows, but we're making it work.  This job isn't the first job E's had that's taken him out of state.  As a former construction worker, he often traveled the country working on pipelines and building power plants.  We visited every few weeks and were lucky enough that the farthest job from home was only ever 8(ish) hours long.  I'd pack up the dogs and hit the road.  While it was often crowded in the car and boring driving alone, it was always well worth it when I finally arrived.  Other times he'd pack up after work on Friday and head home to see me.  (I always preferred this...lol.)  Either way, we made sure to see each other.

Visiting hubs on the job in his awesome pop-up camper.
Circa 2007 

That was before marriage....and a kid.  It's different this time.  The first few nights were really rough.  It's amazing how I've learned to lean on my husband for support in our marriage.  I was amazed to see how different it was parenting by myself than with a partner.  And while we're obviously still married and still partners in this relationship, there is something to be said about being a "single" parent.  It's different, it's hard. It was an adjustment.

So, how are we making it work?  Communication is key.  We've always been strong believers in talking things out.  Just because we're apart, doesn't make it any different.  In the morning, one of us sends the other a text and then we text throughout the day.  My lunch break is really early (10:38am anyone?) so it's rare we actually get to chat then.  And with his new schedule, he'll be working second shift (3:45-12:15), so unless we talk during my planning period in the morning (during which he'll likely be asleep), our communication will be severely limited.  Texting will help us stay in touch and feel connected.

We've also taken to video chatting via gmail.  He finally got a computer a couple weeks ago and now he's able to see Thad and chat with us after school, on the weekends, etc.  I also make sure to take pics with my phone and send them to him.  This way he feels like he's still a part of the family.  Oh and I can't forget!  We still use the good 'ol postal service and mail things to each other!  The first week he was gone he mailed Thad and I couple of shirts he bought for us (see Thad modeling his below) and just last week I mailed him some homemade banana bread and brownies.  Now how's that for a taste of home?

My daddy's building fighter jets.

So if you're like me and rocking it long distance, here a couple suggestions for you.

• Text! Photos, love notes, just quick messages to say good morning even - everyone loves to feel loved.
• Use the postal service.  It's not that expensive to send a package priority - so if you're like me and want to mail some food, it's not likely to be rotten by the time it gets there.
• Video chat.  Use Skype, Gmail, etc.  It's always nice to talk and "see" the person in real time.  Oh and I also send videos via youtube links of Thad so hubs can see what he's been up to or if he's learned something new.
• Start something that's special to the two of you.  Maybe mail a journal back and forth to each other or start a google doc that you both share and can write to each other on...something that each of you can write in when you get a chance and it's a surprise for the other person when they get it.
• Visit!  Thad and I visited at the beginning of February.  I was hoping to get down to see him in March, but it's not going to work out.  However, I've got a week long trip planned during my Spring Break in April.  Oh and he'll be home the second week of May for my sister's wedding.
• And keep that line of communication open.  It's ok to get sad, frustrated, and upset - if you're like me and need to get that out of your system, do it.  Just don't always make your conversations negative - who likes to talk to a Negative Nancy all the time?  If you get upset with your significant other, schedule a time to talk.  Remember that the time that's good for you, isn't always good for them.
• Try to remain positive and think of things you're looking forward too - the visits, the calls, the texts - it's the little things that make it all worth while.  

And that's How I Rock My Marriage (Long Distance). 

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How I Rock My Marriage Mondays,

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elffamilyblog at gmail dot com