So the other day, I'm sitting in class doing my teacher thing when a student (a sophomore, but with some developmental delays mind you) asks me, "Ms. Foster, what is sex?" So me being me and the brutally honest person I am, I told her. As simply as I could, I explained what happens with a penis and vagina and how sperm fertilize an egg so that we can procreate.
And then I had a smart ass little shit say, "Well, what about gay people?" (He wanted me to react people...)
So I explained how sex between same sex couples works (ok, to the best of my knowledge anyway...let's be honest, I'm no expert in that area).
Shithead proceeds to bust out laughing and says to me, "I love how you just sit and explain sex with a straight face!"
This is not the first conversation we've had about sex, pregnancy, STDs, etc. in my class. I tend to be a pretty open book when it comes to uncomfortable subjects and the way I see it, if they're asking, they're curious and want to know...and if I don't tell them, who will? Isn't it my job to educate? So I do. And let me tell you, my students have to be the most sexually educated students in the building.
If I don't do it, they'll continue to believe the pull-out method is an effective form of birth control...or wait, if the girl is on top you can't get pregnant, right? Yeah, I've heard them all and more. We talk about condoms and breastfeeding (mama's you'd be proud, my boys are more educated about pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding than any of their future wives are at this point). And you know what? They're ok with it. They're comfortable with it (talking about sex). It's not taboo to them anymore and they're more comfortable approaching subjects like this with their boyfriend/girlfriend because I've made it ok, I've made it acceptable, I've made it normal. They now know it's ok to say no for whatever reason and if they say yes, where to go for birth control, condoms, and even pregnancy tests. They know their rights. They are educated.
So these conversations often get me thinking about how I'll approach the subject of sex with Thaddeus. I know I've mentioned it before, but I'm not really into crazy pet names for our genitals, sure penis may be a little bit bold for some, but I don't call my elbow my corner bone (or something else equally weird). I'll accept wiener as well, but not of that "purple headed yogurt slinger" crap, nope, not gonna happen people, it's a penis....say it with me, p - e - n - i - s. See? You lived. Anyway, the point is, Thad will know what his penis is and what it's used for.
Now I'm not gonna tell my five year old that if he wants children someday, he'll need to put his penis in a girl's vagina (or yes, the one acceptable nickname - va-jay-jay). That's not really developmentally appropriate. But when the time comes and he begins to hit puberty, I'd like to think that the hubs and I will be as open with him as I am with my students. I also believe that kids are often more comfortable talking to a parent of the same sex about such topics.
I asked the hubs what he thought about the subject and how he would approach it and one of the best things he said was that he'd start to gauge Thad's reactions to girls, etc. and if he appears interested rather than disinterested, it'll be easier to know when the time has come to start approaching the subject. You can't just throw the whole sex thing on your kid if they're not ready, but you can start to talk to them about it when they began to get curious.
In an ideal world, we'd all wait to get married before having sex, but we don't live in an ideal world and we can't always protect our children from everything that they're exposed to, but we can control how informed (or rather, misinformed) we allow them to be about sex. I plan to educate my son so that he respects women and more importantly, himself. Should he chose to have sex, I want him to be educated so that he doesn't get an STD or get a girl pregnant because he was misinformed. And should he chose to wait, I want it to be because he's educated sexually and spiritually rather than scared because he doesn't know anything.
I want my son to be educated...even if it's uncomfortable to talk about.
So, how will you approach sex with your child/children? How did you approach if you're child/children are grown?
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Now I'm not advocating a pro-sex movement here people, but rather a comprehensive approach to sex education with our youth and my own child. I will talk about abstinence and I will talk about our religious beliefs as a family and as children of God, but I'm not ignorant or naive and I see the choices teens are making every day. I just want to ensure that Thad has enough information to make educated decisions when the time comes as well as making talking about sex less taboo.
How about a click for getting to the end? ;)
and a 
in hand and we'll be off.
